Sexting

Sexting isn't exclusive to mobile devices, as anybody can send messages or images of a sexual nature through computers, tablets, or any other device that allows people to access social media and share images or messages with others.

Although most demographics engage in sexting, it has become very popular for teenagers and young people because they spend more time using the internet and are more likely to connect and develop online-based relationships.

Growth of Sexting

People have been exchanging explicit messages and images with their partners (and strangers) for as long as technology has allowed; this is nothing new. However, there are now increased risks due to the way technology is advancing by allowing us to share more easily across a myriad of platforms and messaging tools.

The rise in image-based social media platforms in particular, along with long-distance or internet-based relationships, has led to the exchanging of explicit images becoming more and more popular within all demographics.

Sexting Terminology

Sexting has become so widespread that people have created new terms that are used as alternatives to the word "sexting." Due to these alternatives, people are often unaware of the true meaning of what they see in social conversations online.

Some of the most widespread terms currently in use include the following:

• Trading or sending nudes (naked photos).
• Pic for pic (picture for picture).
• Snapsex (sexting that takes place on Snapchat).
• Dirties (sending sexually explicit images).

Terms are constantly evolving as new technology and platforms enter the mainstream, so it is important to recognize their meanings wherever they appear.

Share the following thoughts with your child and formulate a logical approach that resonates with them:

Think before you send: When sending messages online, it can feel easy to just press send without giving it a second thought, but when you press send, you lose ownership of all the content sent. The recipient of the message could screenshot it, distribute it on social media, or share it without your permission. Remember to remain aware of the risks and consequences before sending anything; once it's sent, it is gone forever.

Remember who can see your images: Once you send or post an image, it could become public, making it possible for family, teachers, or potential employers to see it. If this image is compromising or suggestive in any way, it could affect your future by making employers concerned about hiring you. Try to only post or share images you would be comfortable with your parents, teachers, or a potential employer seeing. It could save you a lot of embarrassment in the future.

Is it legal? In many countries and states, it is considered a breach of the law to create, send, collect, or ask for sexually explicit images of someone under the age of 18. This rule still applies if the recipient is also under the age of 18 and can result in prosecution. Make sure, before engaging in any form of sexting, that it is completely legal and both parties aren't minors.

Talk to an adult you trust: Peer pressure to participate in sexting can be overwhelming. Remember that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to; reach out to an adult you trust if anybody tries to talk you into it.

Respect yourself: Nobody else owns you or your body, so don't give them ownership. Be proud of who you are, and don't be influenced by people who fail to respect your boundaries. Love yourself!

Use online security: Unfortunately, not everybody who uses the internet is nice or friendly. Tools such as blocking, reporting, and filtering your social media accounts are very useful; don't be afraid to use them if you need to. It is 'your' social media account, and 'your' right to decide what you want to see and who you want to hear from! As a parent or caregiver with younger children, you will have more control over this and might want to set up some security on your child's profile to monitor it yourself.

Know who your real friends are: It's not only strangers that can be a danger. If someone you know passes on an inappropriate image, it can damage you for years to come. Everybody makes mistakes, even friends, so be careful what you trust them with.

Don't crack under pressure: Not only do young people deal with peer pressure because they are told that "everybody's doing it," but they also potentially have to deal with pressure from people online, pushing them to send sexually explicit content. It's important to let your child know that when something like this happens, they shouldn't feel as though they have to take part. Instead, they should put the blocking and reporting tools on that particular platform into action. Remind them that the person pressuring them to send images of this nature is not respecting their body or their privacy.

How to talk to your child about sexting: Talking with teenagers about their personal lives and sexual issues can be very difficult, so broaching the subject without appearing to be lecturing your child and developing an open line of communication 'will' help. A good opener might be to try asking for their advice. You could say that you have a friend who thinks her daughter is being asked for inappropriate photos and wants to know what to do, or that you have read an article about sexting and want to know more.

When to talk to your child about sexting: Simply approaching them at the right moment with your concerns could be enough to get them engaged in meaningful discussion. Once you have opened this discussion, keep it going. Regular chats with your teenage son or daughter should also include internet and phone issues. Keep letting them know you are available and aware of potential problems.

Inspire meaningful conversations: There are many underlying concerns and complex social issues that you could discuss with teenagers, all of which contribute to the larger objective. Why not find out what your teenage daughter thinks about the objectification and exploitation of women? Or perhaps discuss how sexting behavior amplifies the age-old double standards of boys being considered virulent and macho for engaging in sexual exploration, while girls are considered loose or cheap.

Broaden their perspectives: Maybe ask your son how he feels about standing up against peer pressure when he feels his integrity and morals are being compromised or he feels he is being manipulated. What does your teenage boy think about sexual stereotypes and negative sexual generalizations against women? Talking in this way about the wider issues involved can broaden their perspective and help them make the right choices. Another important aspect is to try to encourage your children to learn from their mistakes.

Encourage them to learn from their mistakes: Telling them it is just wrong to explore their sexuality and increase their independence will not work. But helping them understand the damage one mistake can do and how it could affect future relationships and career prospects may make them think twice before getting involved in sexting-related activities.

Screenshotting: When sending images or messages of a sexual nature, it is important to remember that the recipient could easily screenshot them, regardless of the device or social media platform being used. Once someone has screenshotted the image or message, they can distribute or share it as they please. Don't be led into a false sense of security when platforms announce that images 'disappear' after a few seconds; they can still be screenshotted and also probably still exist on a server somewhere!

Sextortion: Sextortion is a form of sexual blackmail where someone gains access to sexually explicit images or messages and threatens to share them publicly unless the victim performs further sexual acts or facilitates money transfers.

Blackmail: Someone could use screenshots of the images or messages as blackmail leverage to try and gain information from you or to get you to do things that you don't want to do.

Premature sexual encounters: If a young person engages in sexting, they may feel pressured or inclined to have sexual relations with people before they are physically or emotionally prepared. This could result in sexual exploitation, academic problems, young pregnancy, or worse.

There are very real consequences to sexting, especially when messages have been saved by someone with malicious intent. Always consider your actions in this regard, as there are risks to factor in.

Sexting and the Law

Although sexting can be harmless and, for the most part, is not considered a crime, in most countries and states, it is a crime to have and/or share sexually explicit images of a minor, regardless of whether it is consensual or not.

The 'official' age of a minor varies greatly from country to country and even state to state. Most countries and states are introducing laws to prohibit the non-consensual sharing or promotion of explicit images of others.

You can explore our Revenge Porn resource for further information.

In some circumstances, for adults, explicit images of themselves becoming public can be devastating. Sexting doesn't just ruin reputations; it can ruin lives too. The following information will help you learn what to do if you are being cyberbullied in relation to sexting:

Sextortion

Sextortion is a combination of the two separate words 'sex' and 'extortion' and is used to describe a form of sexual exploitation. Sextortion is when someone receives or acquires sexually explicit images and uses them as a weapon to blackmail them into committing sexual acts.

In order to "sextort," the perpetrator may threaten the victim by sharing the images on social media or with the friends and family of the victim unless they do what they ask. This can make the victim feel pressured to comply. Sextortion has been linked to suicide.

Examples of Sexting-Related Cyberbullying

See different scenarios where sexting and cyberbullying can occur and what their implications can be:

Slut-shaming: If explicit images or videos are seen by the victim's peers, this could lead to them being "slut-shamed" and can also attract unwanted attention, putting the victim in danger.

Distributing images without consent: Most cell phones are able to take screenshots and videos. If somebody screenshots a sexually explicit image and shares it with others, it could result in humiliation for the victim.

Altering images to humiliate: Some platforms or apps make it possible to manipulate images. Commonly, these are used to 'touch-up' images or selfies, but they are also used to alter sexually explicit images with the purpose of humiliating the sender. Once the image has been manipulated, it can be uploaded to social media as a meme or shared between friends to cause embarrassment.

Avoiding Sexting-Related Cyberbullying

We know how painful cyberbullying is and how it can feel as though there is no way out, but there is. Use the following tips to avoid sexting-related cyberbullying and to deal with it effectively:

Confide in someone: When going through something like this, it is important to build up a support network. If you're a young person or teenager, you could speak to a teacher you trust or your parent; they will be able to help you and advise you. If you are an adult, talk to a friend you trust or an advice service.

Use online tools: If there is a sexually explicit image of you online or you are being digitally abused because of sexting, use your blocking, reporting, and filtering tools on social media. If the content is in breach of the platform's policies, the content or account could be removed.

Legal options: If you are being blackmailed, threatened, sextorted, or there is sexually explicit content about you online without your permission, it could be a violation of the law.

Be conscious: Be mindful of how much 'data' is openly accessible when using social media. Always make sure you are only showing as much as you want to show by checking your privacy settings and the people you are friends with online.

Do you trust them? When talking to someone online, it can be easy to feel like you can trust them and share anything with them, including intimate images or messages, but always be mindful of how well you know the person you are sending them to. Make sure you really can trust them before pressing send.

Peer pressure: Some people (especially teenagers and young people) may feel pressured into taking part because 'everybody else is doing it.' Teenagers are particularly vulnerable to their partners pressuring them to send nudes. This isn't always done for malicious reasons, but it can lead to major problems such as blackmail or revenge porn.

Confidence boost: Some people choose to send images of a sexual nature in order to gain attention or compliments from the recipient.

Exploration: Young people can sometimes use sexting as a tool to explore their sexual identity. If someone is confused about their sexuality, they may use it as a way of 'testing the waters.'

Flirting: Most commonly, people use sexting as a way to feel close to their partners at times when they may be apart or if their relationship is long-distance.

Depending on the circumstances, it is always important not to put yourself under pressure to respond or reply in kind. There are some situations where messages have been uncovered and used in a malicious way.

All it takes is for one person to share the content online, and your life could change forever. Therefore, take the time to consider how you will respond and what some of the risks are, especially if you don't know the person well.